Waking up naturally seemed to be such a treat for me. and yet, when i actually got the chance to do so, i sort of spoiled it.

Walking down the street, i got sentimental a little. i was not sure what it was, perhaps the yellow fallen leaves or the chilly breeze. it was those little things that could trigger your protected emotional self when you pay the least attention to the surroundings. And when i felt that, and let myself be like that, for just a second, i wondered last year, what it was like then. what was i doing? who was in my life? and where was my heart and soul heading towards?

People come and go in life. Some stayed for just a minute, and some stayed a little longer. but at the end, about 90% of them just faded away, or simply disappeared in some cases. and the thing i realized is that the one who really matters always always finds a way to stick around, in spite of some occasional absence.

it’s fall. it’s this kind of season that my heart falls a little now and then. and on some level, it’s nice to know that there are still plenty of ups and downs that makes me fall and rise, in life.

弃我去者，昨日之日不可留。
乱我心者，今日之日多烦忧。
长风万里送秋雁，对此可以酣高楼。
蓬莱文章建安骨，中间小谢又清发。
俱怀逸兴壮思飞，欲上青天揽明月。
抽刀断水水更流，举杯销愁愁更愁。
人生在世不称意，明朝散发弄扁舟。

at this moment, i can see it clear, crystal clear.

i’m walking on one peice of thin ice, which is threatening me by squeezing out little cracks that get on my nerves now and then.
will i retreat? or am i willing to light my footsteps even more just to hang around a little bit longer?

sometimes i can’t help asking myself: am i a drama queen who just invites troubles in?

我爱你，就只是我的事。
我会自己沉浸在这份爱中，慢慢咀嚼。

也许我会让自己追随你，也许我会制造机会和你相遇，再分开。
也许我会因和你短暂的交集而换来无尽的孤单和伤痛；然而，这重要吗？

我拥有这份期待，就足够了。
正如你爱不爱我，与我无关。